You know a story’s going to be pretty good when it starts with, “So, this bitch…”
Some of you may remember when Glamour magazine interviewed me last month about my blog and my IVF journey. The comments were to be expected…half of them were concerned and interested people, and the other half, trolling morons. One such trolling moron decided to grace me with this little pearl:
“I’m surprised your husband is willing to have a baby and go through IVF with you. He had a vasectomy for a reason, he didn’t want any more kids. I know you can’t control who you fall in love with but a 40ish guy who doesn’t want kids enough to have a vasectomy and a 28 year old woman who definitely does want to have kids naturally don’t seem like they would be an ideal match since they wanted different things in life. Plus, getting married at 24 to an older man and becoming a step-mom to a 14 year old(?) where you are probably closer in age to your step-kid? Wow. Getting together you knew you could face difficult issues like this. I don’t even think I would dip my toe in these waters. Good luck to you.”
My immediate reaction was to respond with, “Oh my God, it’s like, you’re psychic! You don’t even know me, my husband or my stepsons, yet you sure seem to have quite the grasp on our situation and our motives. You must live in a world with a white picket fence out front. Please, teach me your ways. I want to be as happy, empathetic and intelligent as you.”
But, instead, I didn’t. Because this idiot has oviously never been in a wildly passionate marriage where your wants and needs evolve with each other as you move forward with a life together. Also, she must not be someone with very much life experience, or else she’d understand that sometimes you make decisions that end up putting you on a path you never intended on taking but that gives you the most fulfillment you’ve ever had.
I emailed the post to my husband, since I came across it in the middle of the work day. His response? “I take it this girl suddenly realized her husband (if she has one) would not do anything like this for her. Poor lonely soul.”
The truth? I don’t doubt my husband’s motives, nor have I ever. He’s not some rich playboy going through some ridiculous midlife crisis just trying to make his young hot wife happy. He’s someone who got married really young, and was conned into getting a vasectomy from a cold fish ex-wife who promised she’d touch him if he did. Of course that didn’t change anything and she eventually ended up between the sheets with two women instead. So fast forward 15 years, and he’s happily remarried, looking forward to being a dad again. And I’m excited that I’m the one he wants to have kids with.
I love my messy, imperfect love story. I am so lucky to be his wife.
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Tags: baby, blended family, chick lit, family, female, friendship, happiness, in-vitro, infertility, IVF, love, love story, marriage, mom, mommyblogging, motherhood, parenting, pregnancy, relationships, sex, TTC, wife, woman
